5 years!

I just thought I would quickly write and share a little history about me.
When I was a kid I didn't fit in very well. I was made fun of a lot and had a lot of emotional problems. I never felt as if I were good enough, I was a loser, and I wasn't truly happy. I always wanted to fit into the "in" crowd. Most of the people in the "in" crowd never new I even existed. I was just there, a person walking around the halls of school taking up more space. I didn't do much with friends. I just didn't have a good self-esteem. What did I do to make myself feel better? I turned to boys. I found guys who would date me and I held onto them. I dated one guy almost the whole time I was in high school. It broke my heart when we broke up and I had even more emotional problems. This time I turned to something else. I started drinking then I started using drugs.
The first time I actually did anything was in the fifth grade. A few of the people I hung out with smoked weed, but I never actually tried the "hard" stuff until I graduated from high school. I started dating a guy who was into heroin and cocaine. I thought I was a strong enough person to stay away from it, but I wasn't. We moved in together and it wasn't long before I was using too.  Lets just say the drugs helped take away my pain, fear, loneliness, and sadness.
I was in deep, deeper than most who just start out. I was dating someone who used for years, he was a pro. I was an amateur who wanted to keep up and have my feelings taken away quickly so I didn't have regret. For almost 9 straight months nothing mattered to me except getting that next hit. I didn't care who I hurt, how I got the drugs, or even what happened to me.
My wake up call came when I got arrested. I was, luckily, let go with out any ding on my record, just a lesson learned. I was being stupid, selfish, and dangerous.
I called my parents and told them I was ready for help. They sent me to rehab within a month to get me the help I needed.
I will never forget the night I left home. My parents tried to get me to hurry so we could make check in on time. We left about 1pm and had to drive 4 hours. By the time I got there we weren't able to check in. We had to wait until morning. In the middle of the drive I woke up in pain. I got the hot and cold flashes, constantly moved, and felt like throwing up. It was miserable. The feelings I had that day and night were worse than any I have ever had during child birth. I was ready to end my life that night. I shared a hotel room with my parents. None of us slept.
The next morning we all got up, ate breakfast (except me I was too sick), and got ready to leave. It took another 45 minutes before we got to the center. I was so relieved! When I checked in I weight around 95-100 lbs. I looked sick! When I left the center 28 days later I had only gained about 6 or 7 lbs.
My parents moved me 4 hours away from home to a place I had never been before. It was hard! About four months after I left rehab I relapsed. It only happened one time, just enough to scare me into never wanting to do it again. I haven't! I have been clean since!
Five years later here I am, writing to share my experience in hopes that someone else will find my story helpful.
I could not have done it with out the help of my parents, siblings, amazing husband, in-laws, current friends, children, the gospel, and of course my Savior Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father.
I am so grateful for my life, the experiences I have had, and where I am now. I am so proud of myself for remaining sober for these five years and pray for many more to come!

I took this last week for my self. I wanted to take the time to think about the meaning of my life, where I have been, and where I am now. I have spent time with family, read my journal entries from rehab, and reflected what I have learned. I hope you will take some time to look back at your past and think about what you have learned from it! 

Please feel free to ask any questions! Please share this with someone who may benefit from it!

Thanks! Have a good week!

OMG...

I know I was away longer than the week, but It was nice to have a break. I got so much done! Tomorrow night I will post a month in review for you all to see what I have been up to. For now I will play catch up.

Day 28: Plan a run.
Sit down and plan a run for the spring summer or fall. I will be doing a 5k this summer. I was looking online and found this AWESOME run I would love to do!http://www.rundisney.com/disneyland-half-marathon/  I think this will be my goal for next year!

Day 29-30: Plan your meals
Half of cooking is deciding what to make for dinner. Sit down and plan February's meals. Try to go one month with out cooking the same meal twice and try for healthier meals!!

Day 31: Prepare yourself for the "green smoothie challenge"
At the beginning of March I will be starting the 10 day Green Smoothie Challenge! I'm super excited about this, but I need to branch out and try more veggies first. There are some I don't like. So today try a new veggie. Mine was Kale, Can't say I cared too much for it, but at least I tried.

Day 32: Try a green smoothie
I have never actually had a green smoothie so I tried one for the first time. If you never have you should try it! Here is the recipe I used!

water, half banana, frozen strawberry, celery,  kale, carrots, and my It works Greens

I must say it really wasn't that bad! Try it, you may find you like it!

Day 33: Look back at what you have accomplished! 
If you have kept up with me this far, you have accomplished quite a bit. I know most of it has been little stuff, but the little things matter! If you haven't done everything just do it as you can. The main thing is to try! You are worth it. I may not be the healthiest person, smartest, happiest, but I sure try and that is what counts. I need this challenge, do you? 

Here is a cute quote I found, not sure who it is by. I wish I could give the credit to the person. 
 
"You can do it. You can rescue yourself. No matter what you believe about your competence or your worth, no matter if you weight 400 pounds on the scale or in your mind, you can change. You can become every courageous inch of yourself. But you have to act. You have to make an effort. You have to find a path or practice that knocks at the door of your heart, and then you have to do it. Keep doing it even if you don't feel like it on an particular day. If you do nothing, nothing will change. If you act, if you make an effort, then little by little, bite by bite, morning after morning, you become the promise of yourself."

Day 6: Portion Control

 This is a big one. It has been so hard for me to not go back for seconds with the foods I love. So I started taking small portions. It may sound crazy, but I actually started eating less and noticing I had more leftovers. I grab a SMALL plate, put one scoop on my plate, and when I go back for seconds I only get one more scoop. It is the same as if I were to put a whole scoop on my plate.

So today I would like you to try taking smaller portions and if you go back for seconds, just get a small amount.

Day 5: Try a new HEALTHY recipe

How many times have you started a diet? I know I have like 4 or 5 times. How long does it last? Like 3-4 days or until my mother in law makes her chocolate chip cookies for me. I have come to find that diets are hard to stick to unless you have a good support system (even then it is hard!).
The truth is I don't think you really need a diet to help you lose weight. If you wish to continue your diet, by all means please do so. I hope it works out well for you. I have learned that eating healthier is key to a healthy lifestyle.
Today's challenge: Add variety to your life.  Add color to your meal (meaning add fruits and veggies), try new foods or recipes, If you are use to something branch out and try something different. Instead of a TV dinner, try a fresh home cooked meal. My experience:  Having grown up on pasta, it is hard to spread my wings and try new foods. My husband grew on a farm so his meals mostly consisted of meats, veggies, and homemade bread. I was shocked when my husband told me he was sick of pasta. WHAT? How can anyone be sick of pasta? Okay so we had been married for a little over a month and we had some type of pasta everyday for that whole month, with one day of meat in between. That is when I learned I had a problem. I loved pasta so much even if I made meat I HAD to have pasta on the side. My husband (Ryan) finally told me I had to take a break from the one food I loved most! Since then I have made Ryan and myself a promise, pasta is only cooked two times a week.

Would you like to see what we tried tonight?

Here is the recipe.  
Instead of cheese we put mushrooms, celery, and onions in it. It was so amazingly good! I would seriously suggest you try it!

Day 4: Get up!

Today's challenge is to get up and off the couch, bed, chair, whatever you are sitting on, and MOVE! Go up the stairs a few times, walk in (or around depending on your temp, I'll stay inside it's only 12 degrees outside!) your house, place of work, or wherever you are! Start your day off by moving around at least 10 minutes a day.

I worked out for 35 minutes today! We are starting on week 6 of the Insanity workout. It has been AMAZING to see the transformation my body has gone through. I will post some before and after pictures once we finish the whole thing. 

Even when I'm not doing the Insanity work out, I am still trying to get up and move. Have you ever just taken the time to turn on music and dance? Call me crazy, but that is one of my most favorite things to do. I have a 2 year old and he loves for me to hold him and dance with him. I shut all the curtains in the house and just go all out crazy dancing. He loves it, and boy let me tell you, it is a GREAT workout! 

Day 3: Picture Time

I was always okay with pictures being take of me, but after 4 pregnancies and 2 kids I really don't like my picture taken now. I'm breaking out of my shell today and taking a picture of myself. For you to see a change in yourself, sometimes it takes a good picture. But since this isn't just a physical change we are going for I'm doing something a little extra with it.

Today I would like you to take a current picture of yourself and then list 10.... yes 10 things you like about yourself when you look at it. Dig deeper than physical appearance.

We are our own worst critics, don't let any negative thoughts into your head about yourself. We all have weaknesses. That is why I am doing this, to help over come my weaknesses and feel more confident with myself.

Hang this somewhere you can see it daily to help motivate you and keep you uplifted.

Part 2: Ask a spouse, friend, co-worker, family member, someone you know well to write down 10 things they love about you.

Self Esteem comes from within, but is influenced by those around you. I never really had a good self esteem, even to this day I have problems with it. My husband can always tell when I'm having a hard day because I am slumped over and don't say much. He is always so good about telling me what I need to hear. Because of the relationship I have with him and my kids, I have been better than ever. I mostly have problems when I am around others who are skinny, well dressed, are confident, and have such good self esteems that it makes me feel worthless.

So have someone write down 10 things they love about you and hang it with your picture. Then you can see not only what you see in yourself, but what those who truly know and love you see in you too.

Today and all year I am working on my self worth, confidence, and self esteem. No one can bring me down. 

Day 2: Make a list

I have never been a big fan of lists, but over the last few years that seems to be how I run my life. If I go to the store I make a list, I have things to do there is another list, doctors visits, people to call, something to remember, there is always a list hanging around my house. It gets very annoying trust me. But somehow everything manages to get done. Huh, imagine that.. Things get done..
So for day 2, I am making 2 somewhat specific lists.
The first list is what I want to do this year, I guess you could call them New Year's resolutions. I really don't like those words though (especially for this challenge) because I have never done well completing my resolutions.
Here are a few on my list as an example:
1.  Challenge myself to do something good everyday.
2.  Learn something about myself that I didn't already know.
3.  Get on a schedule and stick with it.
4.  Make a meal guide and stick with it.

Easy enough right? Now the hard part is going to be sticking with it. That is always my hard part. Which is why I'm sharing them with you. I need someone to hold me accountable.

The second list is to write down your daily routine. I did each day on a seperate piece of paper because each day I do something a little different.
Here is what I did for example.
Master Schedule:
7 am wake up, read scriptures
730 Exercise
8 Breakfast
830 Chores
11 Lunch
.... So on.
Monday
830 Laundry, Deep Clean sons room, vacuum all house, and dust
Tuesday
830 Sweep, Mop, Clean Bathroom and Spare room
I think you get the idea now.

After I broke everything down my load seemed a lot lighter. Each day I'm doing something productive to keep up with all the chores, but this helps me so I don't have to feel overwhelemed with all of the work.
Two things to be sure of, MAKE time for 10-30 minutes of exercise! This is a must in every daily routine! The second is a good bedtime.
Now the trick is to stick with it!

We can do it! Let's start off our year the right way and keep going all through the year!

Day 1: Drink 64 oz water

Today is all about Water!
Our bodies are 60% water. This water helps with digestion, absorption, transporting nutrients, circulation, creating saliva, and maintaining body temperature. When your fluids are low it is harder for your body to perform its duties.
Here are a few reasons to drink water:
1. Helps maintain the Balances out body fluids.
2. Helps lose weight: If you choose water over a drink with calories, you are saving your body from absorbing unneeded calories.
3. Helps muscle performance: If you don't get enough water your muscles suffer. They need the fluids to help keep them energized.
4. Helps improve Skin appearance. Lack of water can make your skin look dry and wrinkly.
5. Helps flush toxins out of the body: read this article.
6. Helps to not be constipated!
7. Helps your heart.


These are just a few. It is so important to drink water!



 So for day 1 the challenge is to drink 64 oz of water daily! Start today. Carry a water bottle around with you! I have two different types. My favorite is the 64 oz jug I got from Walmart for a buck!
The second is a 32 oz bottle that looks like this

This one is a little more expensive, but it is a little smaller and less awkward to carry around.

So starting today drink 64 oz of water every day and I promise you will start to feel better from the inside out!

365 Day Challenge!

Okay so I have started a new Challenge. I'm calling it the 365 day challenge to a better me!
I really want to start some healthy habits and keep them going so my children can grow up seeing my healthy choices.
I have always been kinda a health freak, but I have several weaknesses. I intend to turn my weaknesses into strengths. But I know it won't be easy. It will be hard, but so worth it.
Lately I have been doing the Insanity work out. I am on week 5 and LOVING it! It feels so good to know that I am getting stronger everyday. I can literally feel my body changing! I can see a big difference and I feel so much happier for it. It does not take much time at all. Just 40-50 minutes a day. I want to take what I'm doing now and turn it into a lifestyle. I once heard that it takes 21 days to make or brake a habit. Who knows if it is true or not, but I would like to work on one small thing daily until I make a habit of it.
So for this challenge I will post something each day that will help us (see how I put us, I don't want to do this alone!) be a little healthier and happier! Here is to the start of a New Year and New US!